On Empathy

I happen to greatly admire President Barack Obama.  A while back - some time in 2009, I don't remember the exact date, having not recorded it - the New York Times quoted President Obama as he spoke about the kind of judge he would appoint to the Supreme Court of the United States of America.  The President's description of empathy is one of the best I've come across to convey what it truly means to be able to empathize with another person.  As reportedly spoken by the President:  "That kind of judge will have empathy.  I view the quality of empathy, of understanding and identifying with people's hopes and struggles as an essential ingredient for arriving at just decisions and outcomes."

Empathy requires a whole lot more than just recognizing another's emotions, feelings, or point of view.  What is required is for you to "put yourself in their shoes", or "to walk a mile in their shoes" in order to fully and deeply comprehend where that person "is coming from":  what they are feeling, experiencing, and thinking.  Being able to identify with, not only comprehend, another's plight, within your own self, is what it means to empathize with your fellow man (or woman).  The ability to empathize is an integral part of the human condition - of what it means to be human in the first place.  It is the 'seat' of our humanity.

Individuals, either through accident of birth or environmental influence lack the ability to empathize are very scary individuals indeed.  They often come across as if there is some kind of empty spot in their brain where, for the rest of us, our humanity resides. Synapses are not connecting;  something is not wired.  A gap exists. 

Scientific research has been investigating the role that our brain's mirror neurons play in our day to day life.  Mirror neurons are what make empathy possible in the first place.  "Mirror neurons are activated both when one does something and when one observes somebody else doing the same thing.  Thus, they represent the neurological mechanism that allows us to put ourselves in the shoes of others."  (1)

The diversity in our world today is so vast that the very mechanisms which created it lack the ability to cope with it.  "The reason why people feel threatened by other people's habits and ways of life and have a 'gut reaction' against such diversity is due to the fact that their mirror neurons are less able to understand the 'stranger'.  His or her intentions and emotions are to a certain extent clouded by one's cultural identity and made inacessible to others." (2)  Most mentally healthy individuals, however, can consciously work hard to override this gap in understanding and expand their minds (utilize the concept of 'neuroplasticity') in order to include indentification with persons with whom we seemingly have little in common.  Intellect can be used to stretch us beyond our own experience and to cultivate rational and emotional thought which fosters harmony rather than antipathy.

Prejudice blinds us to the fact that the 'other' is actually a human - a person - and in Canada, one who is protected by the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.  People who physically or emotionally harm others because they are of a different race, colour, sexual orientation, or are simply fat and out of shape, or small in stature seemingly lack empathy.  Can they not imagine how they would feel if someone did the same thing to them - possibly because they didn't like their haircut, or the colour of their eyes, or the scars on their face?

(The view of another person as "the other" also gives rise to the fear factor, but this column is not about the need to destroy, maim, harm another person due to the misplaced perception that it is required for self-preservation.  The perception is that because the other person is different he or she must pose a threat to me and must be dealt with harshly.  Or, perhaps the other person is perceived as weaker either emotionally or physically and how powerfully strong, energizing, and just plain great it does feel to be able to dominate that 'weaker' person.  Or, perhaps the attacker suffers from a deep-seated feeling of inferiority, so an attack enables her to feel superior.)

Most of the world's religions subscribe to a principle akin to: do unto others as you would have others do unto you.  I think that if we all kept this in mind, many of the world's troubles would simply cease to exist.  Rape as an instrument of warfare is one atrocity that quickly springs to mind as something we could certainly do without.  Gay bashing in Vancouver's west-end is another.  Oh, and allowing your dog to use my lawn as a toilet is yet another.  I know, sometimes it truly is hard 'to see past your own nose'.

D.

(1) and (2)  "How Do Mirror Neurons Work?", http://news.softpedia.com/  Note:  In humans, brain activity consistent with that of mirror neurons has been found in the premotor cortex, the supplementary motor area, the primary somatosensory cortex, and the inferior parietal cortex.  A mirror neuron is a neuron that fires both when an animal acts and when the animal observes the same action performed by another.  The neuron 'mirrors' the behaviour of the other, as though the observer were itself acting.

Yet Another Mood Enhancer

I like to reach for a banana either before or after a workout.  Seems to be just the right thing to provide me with energy, or to restore it.  The combination of nutrients, healthy carbohydrates, and the amino acid tryptophan work together to elevate mood.  Bananas contain potassium, phosphorous, iron, and a little protein along with vitamins B6, A and C.  The fiber which bananas contain provides more sustained energy, which prevents a drastic spike in blood sugar and the subsequent drop in mood and energy that can follow.  The carbohydrates help the brain absorb the tryptophan and the vitamin B6 helps to transform the tryptophan into serotonin, a mood-elevating and calming brain chemical.

D.

A Little 'Mood Food'

Sunflower Seeds:  These little seeds are a rich source of folate and magnesium which are both important nutrients when it comes to regulating mood.

Whole grains:  Brown rice, oatmeal and whole-grain bread contain the mineral selenium which works like an antioxidant and may improve symptoms of depression.  Oxidative stress in the brain has been assoicated with depression in older people.  In one study (reported at WebMD.com) an evaluation of depression scores of elderly individuals showed that those who supplemented their diet with 200 micrograms of selenium a day had greater amounts of the mineral in their blood and a significant reduction of symptoms of depression compared to those taking a placebo.  Nuts and seeds, beans and legumes, and dairy foods contain significant amounts of selenium.

Spinach combined with chicken or salmon:  Together these foods combine to provide a rich source of the vitamins folate (spinach) and B12 (chicken and salmon).  Working together, these two nutrients help to prevent disorders of the central nervous system as well as dementia and mood disorders.

D.

Stress, Turmeric and Opioids

According to the latest issue of Scientific American Mind (May/June 2011, p. 21) women may be more prone than men to suffer from stress-related ailments. Studies seem to show that women are twice as likely as men to suffer from "depression, post-traumatic stress disorder and other stress-related issues".

Research has shown that turmeric (a spice used in curry) may have beneficial effects on the brain after a stroke.  "Scientists at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies recently developed a synthetic derivative of turmeric, which dramatically improved the neurologiccal deficits in animal models of stroke and traumatic brain injury." (Scientific American Mind, May/June 2011, p. 21)

As most of us know, chronic pain can be mentally exhausting and physically debilitating.  Prescription pain medication in the form of opioids can effectively alleviate pain, but it is highly addictive.  Pain researchers have recently discovered that by delivering opioids in a new way - by implanting them under the skin -cravings for them were reduced.

D.

The Good Marriage

I'm quite sure that each and every one of you knows at least one couple (if not many more) whose marriage fell into ruins over the past couple of years.  If you are still married (and happily so, rather than miserably so) then congratulations are in order.  A miserable marriage is nothing to be proud of, but it's amazing how many people will linger in one, without positive change, long past the expiry date.  I don't mean to cause problems, but have you ever stopped to ponder whether your spouse is, in fact, happily married? 

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), nine psychological tasks might just be the prescription you need to make your marriage endure, grow stronger, and be a happy one.  (In order to comply with copyright requirements, I must reproduce the nine points exactly as written by the APA even though there are points I would like to enhance, clarify, or modify.  For instance, the first point speaks of not separating to the point of estrangement.  I would add:  "or isolation, which can happen when one of the partners is controlling or abusive".)  Anyhow, that's just one example.  Perhaps you will self-edit some of the points set out below.

1. Separate emotionally from the family you grew up in; not to the point of estrangment, but enough so that your identity is separate from that of your parents and siblings.

2. Build togetherness based on a shared intimacy and identity, while at the same time set boundaries to protect each partner's autonomy.

3. Establish a rich and pleasurable sexual relationship and  protect it from the intrusions of the workplace and family obligations.

4. For couples with children, embrace the daunting roles of parenthood and absorb the impact of a baby's entrance into the marriage.  Learn to continue the work of protecting the privacy of you and your spouse as a couple. 

5. Confront and master the inevitable crises of life.

6. Maintain the strength of the marital bond in the face of adversity.  The marriage should be a safe haven in which partners are able to express their differences, anger and conflict.

7. Use humour ("u" added to make it Canadian!) and laughter to keep things in perspective and to avoid boredom and isolation.

8. Nuture and comfort each other, satisfying each partner's needs for dependency and offering continuing encouragement and support.

9. Keep alive the early romantic, idealized images of falling in love, while facing the sober realities of the changes wrought by time.

  

D.

"Nine Psychological Tasks for a Good Marriage", American Psychological Association (APA), www.apa.org/helpcenter/marriage.aspx.  The APA's list was compiled with thanks to Judith S. Wallerstein, Ph.D., who is co-author of the book The Good Marriage:  How and Why Love Lasts.

Your Brain on Music

According to an article in Scientific American Mind, "music can activate your brain's reward centres and depress activity in the amygdala, the hub of emotional memory, reducing fear and other negative feelings" (1)

Also reported:  music can treat insomnia, lower blood pressure, soothe patients with dementia, and help premature babies gain weight.  And, soothing classical music can increase the milk yield of dairy cows. (2)

Music training can create a more robust brain. The corpus callosum, which connects the left and right brain hemispheres is bigger in musicians than in nonmusicians.  The motor cortex and cerebellum are also bigger. A big brain - more gray and white matter - is generally a good thing.  As we age, we want to try to maintain (even rebuild) as much brain mass as possible by keeping  it exercised (crosswords and other types of puzzles, reading, chess, and so on) and well-nourished with oxygen and other nutrients in order to stave off mental decline.

Some studies have shown that learning to play a musical instrument increases spatial and math abilities in children.

And, music can enhance our exercise regimens by providing increased feelings of motivation and distraction from fatigue.  It can also increase physical performance, level of alertness, and aid in the release of the feel-good chemicals that improve mood, like endorphins.  As the pleasure centres in our brain are activated by music, our exercise experience becomes more pleasurable.  And when we enjoy an activity, we perceive that time is passing more quickly.

D.

(1) and (2) "Six Ways to Boost Brainpower", Scientific American Mind, February/March 2009, p. 62.

More Notes on Attraction

A couple of weeks ago, my son treated me (with my money!) to a play titled, “The Philanderer”, written by George Bernard Shaw.  The play was very enjoyable: full of wit, charm, humour and provocation.  Shaw is famous for defining love as a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.

One consideration which I hadn’t really turned my mind to concerning the 'chemistry of love and attraction' was something my friend with a Ph.D. in Psychology said in passing quite some time ago:  he said that 'familiarity' is one of the underpinnings of attraction and also of how people actually end up getting together as romantic partners.  It’s not everything, of course, but has been found to be an important underlying consideration that people use in order to determine the attractiveness and desirability of a potential mate.

Let me illustrate the point. In one study, researchers brought together a group of women.  Each of the women was to attend different classes at the University of Pittsburgh.  The women were told not to speak during the lectures; nor could they interact with any of the students.  The number of classes that each woman attended varied: 15, 10, 5 or none.  At the end of the course, students from the class were shown photos of the women and asked what they thought of them.  The women who were judged most attractive were those who had attended class 15 times.  The least attractive women were the ones the students had not seen.  This small study fits within countless others on the “mere exposure” effect:  people like what they are familiar with.  This could be deemed to be quite rational when you think about it, as it usually gives rise to notions of safety.  This could explain the appeal of the ‘girl or boy next door’: safety and attractiveness through ongoing exposure.  It could also be part of the reason why office romances are so prevalent and why friendships often progress to romantic involvement. 

Somewhat related is another study. Researchers had people rate the photographs of classmates in their yearbooks according to how much they liked them and how attractive they felt they were.  They then had strangers rate the photos for attractiveness. The ratings by the strangers did not match the ratings by the classmates.  The ratings of the classmates were swayed by how much they liked each person – supporting the saying that there is more to being good-looking than looking good. 

Another study found that strangers who were smiling were more attractive than those with a neutral expression.

In addition, people tend to be on the lookout for partners who are smart, faithful and kind.  In the largest study ever conducted of human mate preferences, which looked at people from 37 cultures, the most important factor for men and for women was found to be kindness.  Interesting...

D. 

Most of this article was adapted from an article which appeared in a special edition of Discover magazine: The Brain (Fall 2010).  The article, “The Rules of Attraction”, can be found commencing at page 30 of the edition. What I’ve written above is merely a small sampling of what factors may attract us in our desire to mate.  Some factors cannot be clearly defined as they are factors beyond our conscious awareness and basically boil down to:  “I just feel so good when I’m with you”.