Depressogenic Assumptions

According to Aaron T. Beck, one of the developing 'fathers' of Cognitive Therapy, certain assumptions/beliefs can predispose a person to depression and sadness.  Some of these are: 

- in order to be happy, I have to be successful in whatever I undertake;
- to be happy, I must be accepted by all people at all times;
- if I make a mistake, it means that I am inept;
- I can't live without you (usually a spouse or romantic partner);
- if someone disagrees with me, it means he/she doesn't like me;
- my value as a person depends on what others think of me.

Wow, that's a huge load to carry around in life.  If you have been depressed for a long time, it may mean that you hold to these assumptions and the negative conclusions that arise from them with great tenacity.  Your belief in them may come to you quite automatically, quite readily. You may not examine or doubt these views.  These views may have become a significant part of your identity - as much a part of your identity as whether you are male or female.  The certainty with which you hold these 'core' beliefs usually corresponds with the intensity of the depression.

It is important to note that these assumptions are LEARNED assumptions and at one time or another may have been articulated to you by others or were your interpretation of experiences that you had in the past, often during your childhood and teen years.  They may be due to messaging from significant people in your life: attitudes or opinions of teachers, siblings, peers, parents, or others. Family 'rules' are usually factors in the construction of these assumptions: "be nice to people, or people won't like you and it means you are not a nice, lovable person if they like you but you don't like them back." "You are a bad person and so are unworthy or undeserving of love." (This messaging is how some children end up suffering sexual abuse committed by friends or relatives of their primary family.  This is also how some children grow into explosive, angry teens or adults: they have been taught to always be nice to others, rather than taught healthy assertiveness in order to protect themselves both physically and psychologically during childhood and beyond.)

During cognitive therapy, a client and therapist work together to uncover these types of strongly and deeply held core assumptions.  The client must, however, take the lead during this exploration.  It is erroneous and detrimental to the client for the therapist to suggest what a client's core assumptions/beliefs are.  The therapist can guide the client in the exploration and uncovering of these beliefs, and help to examine and dissect these beliefs, replacing them with healthier, more positive self-affirming ones.

D.

From Cognitive Therapy of Depression, A. T. Beck, A. J. Rush, B. F. Shaw, & G. Emery, Guildford Press, New York, 1979, pp. 244 - 247.

Choices For Contentment

Question of the day:  what is needed in order to create an enduring kind of contentment that no one can take away from you?   How do you create a contentment (or, if you prefer, a happiness or inner peace) that is so established in your core self that external events cannot take it away?

According to wisdom guru, Deepak Chopra, certain choices made along the road of life can determine whether your contentment ebbs and flows with the times, or whether it becomes an inner rock which buoys you as external events attempt to disquiet or disturb you.

According to Chopra, consider undertaking the following:

-          meditate , which can open up deeper levels of the mind

-          take actions that benefit others

-          nurture social relationships that support intimacy and bonding

-          find inspiration through reading the world’s scriptures and poetry

-          find enjoyment in natural beauty

-          have a vision of personal fulfillment that you follow each day

-          aim for inner fulfillment rather than external fulfillment

-          find ways to reduce stress

-          take time for peaceful reflection

-          learn to love your own company, cultivate the self as a state of being

-          eschew anger and violence in all its forms, gross and subtle

-          resolve conflicts, both inner and outer, rather than letting them build up

-          pay one’s debt to the past, which means healing old hurts and grievances

-          step away from group think and second-hand opinions

-          give up a belief in enemies and us-versus-them thinking

-          cultivate kindness and compassion

-          be generous of spirit and learn to give

-          see yourself as part of a larger humanity, and humanity itself as an expression of the divine, despite the flaws.

To this I would add a mantra:  conduct yourself with grace, kindness and dignity.  Some see kindness as a weakness;  don’t buy into that.

It’s a long list which does, indeed, require a shift in perspective.  Everything you once thought and believed you will now have to see through a new lense and in a new light:  something to strive for, to work towards, and something which I believe is attainable.

As you will likely have noticed, some of the points noted above do overlap.  For instance, being generous of spirit and learning to give can be equated with taking actions that benefit others.  A way to reduce stress could be through peaceful reflection and that could occur while finding enjoyment in natural beauty while cultivating inner fulfillment.  I do not mean to be flippant, just to argue that the points are not so separate as to induce exhaustion or a feeling of being overwhelmed while trying to achieve them:  that would, indeed, defeat the purpose.  And, the overall purpose is to walk the path of vidya, which can be richly defined as “the way to reach the truth” which actually means “knowledge” in Sanskrit.  Take what you will from the previous sentence - accept it, or throw it away, it doesn’t really matter - because the true goal is inner peace – contentment – happiness which can only benefit you and others.

D.

(This article was adapted from “Why Choice Is the Way to Happiness” by Deepak Chopra, oprah.com, April 14, 2010.)