I've had a fairly high number of friendships with men over the past few decades, so I found an article I recently came across which discusses whether men and women can truly be friends - as opposed to romantic or sexual partners - to be of interest. I wanted to see how my experiences stacked up against what the so-called experts had to say about the matter. What I am going to do here is simply highlight some of the answers to a (quite unscientific) survey contained in the article from over 1,450 members of the Match.com dating site.
When asked whether individuals believed that men and women can be platonic friends, 83 percent said yes while 62 percent stated that they had had a platonic friendship which ended up crossing the line and becoming romantic or sexual.
Sixty-four percent of the men surveyed as opposed to 25 percent of the women were more likely to misinterpret the intimacy of friendship for sexual desire.
Ninety-four percent of respondents answered that it was possible to fall in love with someone who was a friend, first and foremost. Only 4 percent said it wasn't possible for them to do so.
Seventy-one percent of respondents hoped that when they did fall in love, their partner would have started out as a friend.
And, finally, respondents thought that women were better than men at keeping sex out of a platonic relationship: 67 percent thought women were better at this aspect of the friendship while only 13 percent thought men were.
D.
From "Can Men and Women Be Friends?", Camille Chatterjee, www.psychologytoday.com, September 1, 2001
About Me
- Deborah K. Hanula
- Deborah K. Hanula has a year of Journalism training from Humber College, a Political Science degree from the University of Waterloo, and a Law degree from the University of British Columbia. In addition, she has Diplomas in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Child Psychology, and Psychotherapy and Counselling as well as a Family Life Educator and Coach Certificate and Certificates in Reflexology, Assertiveness Training, and Mindfulness Meditation. She is the author of five cookbooks, primarily concerned with gluten-free and dairy-free diets, although one pertains to chocolate. As an adult, in the past she worked primarily as a lawyer, but also as a university and college lecturer, a tutor, editor, writer, counsellor, researcher and piano teacher. She enjoys a multi-faceted approach when it comes to life, work and study, in order to keep things fresh and interesting. Check out her new book: A Murder of Crows & Other Poems (2023).
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