About Me

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Deborah K. Hanula has a year of Journalism training from Humber College, a Political Science degree from the University of Waterloo, and a Law degree from the University of British Columbia. In addition, she has Diplomas in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Child Psychology, and Psychotherapy and Counselling as well as a Family Life Educator and Coach Certificate and Certificates in Reflexology, Assertiveness Training, and Mindfulness Meditation. She is the author of five cookbooks, primarily concerned with gluten-free and dairy-free diets, although one pertains to chocolate. As an adult, in the past she worked primarily as a lawyer, but also as a university and college lecturer, a tutor, editor, writer, counsellor, researcher and piano teacher. She enjoys a multi-faceted approach when it comes to life, work and study, in order to keep things fresh and interesting. Check out her new book: A Murder of Crows & Other Poems (2023).

Monday, March 20, 2023

"A Murder of Crows & Other Poems" by Deborah Hanula (book review from Amazon.ca)

Reviewed on March 15, 2023 (from Amazon.ca)

Verified Purchase

"This collection has a darkness that is both thrilling and comedic.
Poetry from a mature woman’s voice, a voice we do not hear very often.
Many of the poems have a dark humour that sneaks up on you.
Despair, comedy, joy and love are all on display in a raw but honest telling.
Some of my favourites are The Day After I Was Murdered, Aging Gracefully, and Naked.
How can you resist someone who can write…
“…when you wrapped your hands around my neck and told me that you once
 had killed a man with your bare hands.”"

My book is available from many online retailers. 





Saturday, March 11, 2023

Excerpt from A MURDER OF CROWS & OTHER POEMS


"and all she could utter were the gasps of a tiny, withered baby sparrow".

My new book is now available from online retailers worldwide. Message me via a comment for more information.


"The poems in part one of this anthology deal with facets of the human condition: fear, loneliness, isolation, heartache, grief, love, joy and humour. The haikus in part two include short meditations on the power and beauty of our natural world."

Thursday, March 9, 2023

MY NEW BOOK!

My new book - "A Murder of Crows & Other Poems" -
is now available online worldwide!

The poems in part one of this collection deal
with facets of the human condition: fear, loneliness,
isolation, heartache, grief, love, joy and humour. 
The haikus in part two include short meditations
on the power and beauty of our natural world.

Here are a few of the online retailers who currently
have my book listed for sale in various forms -
hardcover, paperback, e-books for Kindle and Kobo:
Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Booktopia, Smashbooks,
Apple Books, Waterstones, Abebooks, Better World Books, 
Alibris, Books A Million, Walmart. My book will soon be
available online with Chapters/Indigo. And, check with your
local bookstore as they may be able to order a copy for you
directly from Ingram or one of the retailers listed above.

 



Monday, July 11, 2016

Facing Yourself: Four Points to Ponder

1.  Through a process of facing and dealing with uncomfortable situations or issues in your life, you learn about yourself and grow as a person.

2. It is important to acknowledge areas of personal weakness and to try to move past them or to transform them into strengths. Never underestimate or discount the areas of strength that you already have. Everyone has areas of strength, even if they don't believe that they do. Focus on areas of strength while trying to also transform any areas of weakness into strengths.

3. Attempting to hold negative memories or memories of traumatic events or mistreatment buried deeply inside of yourself can lead to the abuse of alcohol or other psychoactive substances, and also to mental and emotional deterioration as your life proceeds.

4. Let the past go when you are ready to do so, and if there are people who hold you back from healing and moving forward because they trigger memories of traumatic events, other negative memories or mistreatment, let them go and keep moving forward towards healing and a life that will give you peace of mind.

D.

A Short Essay on Living Life

The point is not how long you live, but the quality of the life you have lived. For most people, at least some level of variety is essential to emotional well-being. The purpose of being in the world is to experience it. If each day looks exactly the same as the day before, if you do the same things each and every day, time will fly by, opportunities will have been lost, and you may find that you are suddenly too old and too infirm to do much of anything at all.

This doesn't mean that you have to parachute from planes, or float down the Nile, or hike up Everest, or write the greatest work of fiction ever written - it simply means that you should try to add some variety to your day to day life. Do what you can within your means and 'practical' life to expand your horizons. Be curious about others and the world around you. Do big things and small things. Appreciate the big adventures, but also take time to notice and appreciate the small things in life. Take time to smell more than just the roses. Sometimes life will be made up of just a series of small things to notice and appreciate. At times, if you can make it happen, you can have larger, more expansive experiences.

Avoid procrastination.

Believe in yourself, even if no one else does. Do that one thing you want to do even if you think that you cannot do it. If you doubt yourself, that is okay, sit with your doubt for awhile, then put it out of your mind and get to work planning and then doing. Or, don't plan - be spontaneous - depending on the circumstances: hiking into the back country unprepared and on the spur of the moment may not be advisable, but deciding that tomorrow you're going to climb that peak - the one you've been dreaming about conquering for years -  and throwing all the essential gear together just the night before should work just fine.

If you have others in your life who believe in you that is definitely a bonus. But, if you don't, you are enough. Believe in yourself. That is one person who believes in you. That is all it takes to get started. Put yourself out there and then you may soon find that many others jump on board. You just need to draw on that internal courage to begin. Small steps may lead to bigger steps, but small steps can still get you to where you want to be, even if it does take longer.  At least you are still doing it.

D.

The HSP - the Highly Sensitive/Perceptive Person (Republished Due to High Demand)

This blog post was first published on November 12, 2011. Due to high demand, I have decided to republish it today.

HSP stands for highly sensitive/perceptive person.  An HSP is someone whose brain and nervous system is 'wired' in a way that makes them more sensitive. This means that they are acutely aware of, attuned to, and affected by their environment, other people, and things going on within themselves. It can further be characterized as sensitivity to both internal and external stimuli, including social, emotional and physical cues: they are more emotionally and physically reactive.  Because they process cues, signals and other information more thoroughly than others, they become easily overwhelmed, experience more stress, startle easily, and are keenly aware of, and affected by, changes in their environment - even subtle ones - like energy, light, noise, smell, texture and temperature.

This sensory processing sensitivity is a basic, heritable, personality trait or temperament. It is not a pathology. It has evolved as a particular survival strategy for approximately 15 to 20 percent of individuals that differs from that of the majority of other people.  It is an inborn trait, noticeable at birth through observational studies of how infants respond to their environment and to other people. It has also been observed throughout the animal kingdom.

Approximately 30 percent of HSPs are extroverts; most, however, are introverts.  They all tend to be introspective, have rich inner lives, depth of thought, lean toward perfectionism, and require plenty of time alone in order to relax and replenish.  Social gatherings can leave them tense, exhausted, or highly aroused with difficulty falling asleep afterward.  They tend to not relax well in group activities such as a yoga class or other type of exercise class.  These types of classes which may promote relaxation and calmness in other people, can have the opposite effect on HSPs who relax better exercising alone. Even extroverted HSPs need time alone to replenish energy after periods of high intensity for them: after meetings, concerts, parties and social gatherings.

HSPs are easily disturbed, distressed or thrown into disarray by changes and don't enjoy living  situations which lack stability.  Constant upheaval (for instance, when a spouse travels frequently for business purposes) is overwhelming and upsetting.  And, because the nervous system of an HSP is so easily kicked into high gear, or affected profoundly, by things such as startling or loud sounds (like a firecracker going off or a rock concert), hormonal fluctuations, stimulating foods, spices and beverages, social interactions, strong scents or smells, bright lights, or temperature changes, they may often experience difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep.  They may also experience physical symptoms such as digestive disturbances, food allergies and intolerances, or nervous system effects such as tension, heart arrythmias or headaches more easily from foods/beverages/circumstances that others can easily tolerate. They may have trouble tolerating medications/alternative remedies that others easily tolerate. Violent or horrific images are extremely disturbing and these images can stay with the HSP for several days, if not longer.

Being an HSP is not a psychological disorder, but can certainly lead to one as a result of life experiences and ongoing stressors. All types of anxieties, neuroses, and depressions can develop as HSPs find it harder and harder to cope in an environment that doesn't suit their needs.  They may experience high levels of stress and find it hard to deal with, or cope with, situations that they find too stressful.  Generally speaking, they are misunderstood by others, seen as weak and vulnerable, and as children - even as adults - may be bullied, ridiculed or made fun of.  But, having a high-functioning, easily-aroused, sensitive nervous system is a physical trait which a person has no control over - and did not choose, but was born with - just like the colour of one's skin, hair or eyes.

Because of how their brains and nervous systems are wired, HSPs may experience life as fraught with types of difficulty and upset that other ‘average’ people have a hard time understanding or experiencing.  If expected to function in an environment  that doesn’t allow them to have what they need in order to grow and prosper, they will most likely deteriorate both physically and emotionally/mentally and conditions such as anxiety and depression may very well be the result.  If they are repeatedly told that they are too sensitive, that they shouldn’t feel the way they do, shouldn’t need what they do, shouldn’t ask for what they need in order to be successful individuals, and told that they should be different than they are and better able to cope with all that is thrown at them, then they will deteriorate.

Western societies/cultures do not value sensitive people. HSPs tend to be highly intelligent, talented, and gifted individuals. Telling an HSP to “just get over it” or exasperatedly asking them why they are so sensitive, or laughing at them while expecting them to develop a thicker skin is damaging and futile because they can’t change their wiring. Instead, imagine the courage/fortitude it takes for them to continue living, coping and thriving.  If they are treated with love and understanding as children (and also as adults) they will cope and thrive.  Otherwise, their sensitivity can take a more pathological turn towards neuroses and could develop into a psychological disorder such as generalized anxiety, social anxiety, or depression.   

HSPs are at higher risk of developing depression and anxiety than is the general population.  HSPs tend toward loneliness and social isolation if they feel unaccepted and misunderstood, and also because they become easily stressed and require more alone time (remember most have more traits of the introvert than of the extrovert).  It can be hard for them to arrange social engagements in order to maintain friendships. While they may strongly desire social interactions and relationships, they may have a hard time sustaining them as others fail to understand them and they suffer easily from fatigue, stress and exhaustion, especially as they get older.  If they do not live in a stable environment, it makes it even harder for them to plan social engagements and to maintain friendships.  And, if they start to lose confidence they will withdraw, becoming more isolated, lonely, depressed and anxious.

Having written all of the above, it is important to note that HSPs usually do make sensitive and caring friends - noticing the energy and emotions of others. They are conscientious, exhibit high levels of intelligence, talent, skill, focus, perception, passion, intensity, depth, compassion and empathy. They are highly creative and attuned to the environment, as well as being great lovers of the arts, often noticing subtleties and hues missed by others.  They are especially attracted to professions which require high levels of creativity.

D.

Something's Rotten in the State of Aging (Updated)

While sitting around in a reception area a while ago, I had enough time on my hands to read through several magazine articles.  I didn’t take notes, so won’t be citing any references here, but one of the articles I read was written about a book which was written by two male doctors about health after age 50.  One phrase stood out for me, as it was repeated throughout the article, and was a phrase I had not previously come across in any other article about aging.  The phrase really got the point across as it pulled no punches.  It was blunt: “At age 50 the body starts to DECAY.”  Well, I had never really thought of aging as a process of decay before – and found the thought more than a little repulsive.  I mean, I’ve read all about cell death and cell aging, and all the scientific aspects of it, and what to do to stay as healthy as possible: mind, body and soul.  I knew I was aging (which sounds like a gradual and graceful process), but never considered that I was actually DECAYING.  Yuck!  We’ve all seen decaying birds on the side of the road (but, presumably they’re already dead), or a decaying apple which is turning brown as it oxidizes, smelling somewhat putrid as it rots.

The solution to the body’s process of decay, according to the two doctors, is exercise, exercise, and more exercise.  The point that we cannot do without exercise was hammered home time and time again.  Slackers will end up bent over, shuffling behind a walker, dependent and most likely depressed.  Exercisers will end up vibrant, strong, independent and likely not depressed.  Their prescription was not the 2.5 hours of exercise per week as recommended in a report on CTV’s “The National” last evening, but was much more stringent.  The doctors insisted on 6 days - no less than 6 days - of exercise per week!  And, it must be for a minimum of 45 minutes on each of the 6 days.  Take part in walking, or running, or cycling, or swimming (or whatever else raises your heart rate to 60 – 80 percent of your target heart rate) for a minimum of 20 minutes.  Additionally, 20 minutes of weight training as well as proper warm up and cool down exercises are required.  (I have always been advised, however, that weight training every second day is more advisable than once a day, due to the fact that when we lift weights micro-tears are created in the muscle fibres, and these tears need sufficient time to heal.  Lifting weights each day may result in long-term damage to your muscles which would only serve to undermine the strength and stamina you are trying to build.) 

Exercise not only strengthens the body - it also strengthens the mind.

In some notes from a college course I took several years ago called, “The Learning Brain”, I came across some information from Richard Restak’s book, “Older and Wiser – How To Maintain Peak Mental Ability For As Long as You Live”. Restak wrote that the brain is designed to process knowledge and information just as the digestive system is designed to process food or the lungs to process oxygen.  If food, oxygen or knowledge is cut off, the organism dies.  Engaging in any activity that mentally stimulates the mind helps to maintain a high level of brain functioning.  A study of 1000 people from age 70 to 80 showed that four factors seem to determine which seniors maintain their mental ability and agility: 
- education, which appears to increase the number and strength of connections between brain cells,
strenuous physical activity which improves blood flow to the brain,
lung function, which makes sure the blood is adequately oxygenated,
the feeling that what you do makes a difference in your life (described by others as having a purpose or a passion). 

In other words, stay active, engaged and interested in life as much as you can.

Other ways to keep your brain young include:
- reading,
- doing crossword or other puzzles,
- learning to play a musical instrument,
- singing, especially in a group like a choir, for example,
- dancing,
- learning a new language,
- fixing something you’ve never fixed before,
- patronizing the arts,
- hanging out with provocative, interesting people,
- socializing with your old friends and making new ones,
- doing something on a daily basis with the hand you would not normally use,
- pursuing rich experiences such as travel to new places of interest, or mountain hiking,
- spending less time in front of the television and less time in activities that involve prolonged sitting,
- rediscovering your carefree, playful self, and perhaps spend more time with young children,
- playing board games, bridge or chess,
- continuing to work - if you retire, treat it as an opportunity for beginning a new life,
- becoming an expert in something,
- taking courses,
- pursuing a healthy lifestyle which includes not only lots of physical activity, but getting enough sleep and eating a healthy diet, which includes reducing or eliminating the intake of added sugars as much as possible,
- avoiding drugs which negatively impact memory if you possibly can.

Staying biologically young sounds great.  Rotting, on the other hand, stinks.

D.